Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

When you first start out, everything is hunky dory ♥ and your lover can do no wrong.  After a few months those rose-tinted glasses dissolve and you're left figuring out how to co-exist with another human being (and trust me, no matter how much you love someone, no one is just like you and something will go downside!).  Here are some great tips that have helped me in my most beautiful relationship.

Don't think of these as relationship rules, think of these as ideas for a healthy relationship.

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• "Remember love."  This is my NUMBER ONE and most important rule.  Even if you don’t read the rest of this article, finish this bullet.  Don’t get so caught up in your anger to forget about the love.  You’ll realize that the reason you’re so angry usually isn’t that big of a deal.  Also, saying “I love you” goes a long way, especially during a fight.  My boyfriend actually says this exact quote to me every time something looks sour or I get sad because plans are ruined and suddenly we can't see each other for the day.  "Remember love" because true love will always get you through tough times.
• Always communicate.  If something is bothering one of us calm ourselves down & sort out our thoughts, then discuss it rationally and LISTEN to each other.  Don’t plan out your next words while the other is speaking; actually take in what he/she is saying.
• Listen via text message.  If you take something offensively, reread & think of other ways he/she may have meant to say those things.  In your mind, read it in his/her voice to really get the gist of what you think he/she might have meant.  If you can’t imagine your significant other saying it, then it probably wasn’t meant in that offensive way.
• Don’t be passive aggressive.  Being passive aggressive can only hurt the other’s feelings even if it makes you feel better temporarily.  Calm yourself down & say what is on your mind immediately, don’t hint around at it, no one can really read your mind.
• Spice it up every once in a while.  Don’t try to spice it up al the time, but everyone once in a while a nice dinner or lingerie in the bedroom can go a long way.  Ain’t no one got time for that every day, but you can take once a month or week to spice things up in the relationship.
• Remember the little things. We get mad so often over such little things that we start to overlook all of the greatness of everyday life.  Sometimes he might buy you some candy in the checkout aisle or text you some cute emoticons or give you a new sweet nickname.  She may leave a post-it note or
• Give in to each other every once in a while.  I’m not talking full-on compromise over things you don’t agree on, but give in a little.  Let him/her win a fight, do some new foreplay, go hang out with their friends when you made plans, or watch that movie you weren’t terribly interested in.  Give in to the little things.
• Compromise when you are at an impasse.  Sometimes you both really believe in opposite
• Agree to Disagree.  A perfect relationship doesn’t require you to have the same opinions on EVERYTHING.  Instead of trying to convert him/her to your point of view, agree to disagree on smaller things.  If you are really passionate about something, go ahead & be a bit of a missionary, but don’t push the issue too far and start a fight.
• PDA.  Kiss him/her in public, hold hands, hug, show him/her you love him/her in front of your friends or total strangers.
• Show the love.  People accept and give love in different ways, so hit every angle! Say it, do it, give it, feel it, acknowledge it.  Find new ways every WEEK to remind that special someone that you really do love him/her.
• Be selfish.  Sometimes it feels like letting him/her give you a special gift or letting him hold the door open is you being selfish.  But honestly, your lover lives for that kind of thing.  Let him/her spoil you sometimes.  Sometimes you’ll want to spoil him/her too!!
• Never keep count.  Never be “even.”  This doesn’t mean you should try to one-up your significant other, instead it means don’t give him/her something because you’re given something.  Don’t “owe” each other.  That isn’t what love is.  Love is doing things for him/her and expecting absolutely nothing in return. 
• Try something he/she enjoys.  It’s great to have things to do on your own and with friends, but sometimes taking an interest in his/her interests can be great for the relationship; give you something new to do together!